carolyn victoria mill

Christmas is cancelled...again.

It's hard to breath in some days. The news of fighting and bombing, innocent people destroyed in a battle they don't believe in... My sincerest sympathies to all victims, everywhere. I'd like to think we all feel this way.

However, there is one casualty of this devastating war that I wont be sad to see go down, and that's one Mr. S. Clause.

Well, not Santa really, as I don't believe the man exists, just the commercialized frenzy that happens every year as December 25th draws near. Funny how that particular date doesn't seem as important any more in the wake of 9/11. And I'm not talking about Christian Christmas either, I mean Santa's Christmas. Supported by a society of shoppers who really think they are just being kind and generous of spirit. Christian in there ends, but unadulterated consumerist in their means.

Though this tradition has gone on for hundreds of years, it strikes me that due to several changes in the international landscape Santa can't really hope to escape the downfall of western civilization, anymore than the airlines can. Perhaps old Saint Nick will just get laid off too. I, for one, say good riddance.

The truth is that security concerns and a questionable financial future will undoubtedly have and effect on the three things, or should I say 'three kings', that are the foundations of Xmas season as we know it. Lets take a look at them:

1. Visiting family and friends; Airline travel is suspicious at best, and getting worse by the day. Heaven forbid one be at all brown, you can expect to have your shoes removed and your stay at the airport lengthened indefinitely. Also, as smaller, less expensive airlines continue to fold, those deep discounts we were expecting will be neutralized, leaving only fear and annoyance in those seats.

2. The sending of gifts to family and friends abroad via post and courier; Expect an extra long wait due to anthrax screening and suspicious addresses (such as the clearly suspect forgetting of the postal code). Do not, I repeat, do not send little Johnny a chemistry set, no matter how educational you think it may be. Plummeting stocks and company downsizing will further compel many to forego their usual extravagances, and simply email an electronic greeting card instead. Ew.

3. Holiday Office Parties and Xmas bonuses; With so much need in the world being brought to our attention, the trend towards charity drives and benefit throwing will turn even the most extravagant company party into a humanitarian act. People will be feeling much too guilty to buy hubby a home theater system or put a boob-job under the tree for little Lisa. You can forget about the open bar and cash bonuses for the few employees lucky enough to still have a pay cheque.

Mostly and more interestingly, and what is also bound to change, is western society's overriding belief that everyone but the heathens celebrates Christmas. Or the surety that others MUST celebrate some similar holiday, with similar sentiments, at approximately the same time of year. Instead we are being made painfully aware, on a daily basis, that there are other belief systems in the world. Beliefs that might not include shopping lists, jolly round men and the 'birth' of a martyr. Makes you think doesn't it?

This enlightenment can only be a good thing in the end, despite its horrific beginnings. Or that could just be my point of view. But then you probably have no idea how much heat I have taken for being a baptized, blonde, westerner who has refused to celebrate Christmas for the last seven years. Most folks just can't fathom how a nice English born and Canadian raised socialite like myself could resist all the spectacular lovelies of the holiday season.

Well, the story is; I grew up the poor kid of a single though well educated mother on the east coast. Christmas was a grim time of uncomfortable comparisons and feelings of financial inadequacies. This was true for many; both my sisters and myself, and most sadly, for my mother. Thankfully we managed to spread the goodwill pretty thick all year round and told ourselves that it was 'the thought that counted'. We had too.

And I am pretty sure the truth of my last break up was due to the fact that after having attended six Christmas holidays with his family, I had selfishly decided to skip a year, clearly showing that I didn't value the relationship. What left-wing pagan gal wouldn't want to drive five and a half hours through grueling traffic to our nations capitol, heading into sub zero temperatures to spend her only time off with right-wing in-laws, swapping gifts we didn't need and certainly couldn't afford?

Don't get me wrong; I care for his parents, wonderful people, less Christian than most. But I don't visit my own family on the east coast until after the great thaw. And due to my mother's earth-loving ways, I am not required to either. But I am such a selfish girl, could not my gift to my sweetheart be that I suffer these small inconveniences and join in on what is clearly all about (his) family and togetherness?

I do not acknowledge a specific gift giving time. I thought real gifts came without obligation. And I am quite sure there are no requirements in the bible, the three wise men excepted. I don't swap gifts, and I don't celebrate any tradition. I thought that was okay in these tolerant times. But it seems only if you have a recognized alternate religion will people even attempt to properly understand and embrace your choices. Those of us who would have all people, regardless of their faith, be generous and charitable of spirit, the whole year through, are met with cries of Humbuggery! Grinch! and the clearly derogatory; Scrooge! It would seem that people of my (lack of) faith are not so well tolerated.

What do I celebrate? they ask. And they do ask, as though it was inconceivable to not have any sort of traditional holiday whatsoever. The pity calls and well meant turkey dinner invites that come in directly before the big day are some of the most difficult to refuse, or stomach (I am vegetarian after all).

Well, for starters, I celebrate the fact that most of the things I might actually need will be on extreme sale directly after Xmas. Allowing me to stockpile for real people's birthdays and housewarmings, or upgrade my home office. But the real event is that I will get time alone. Time when no one will have a moment to bother me about anything, being too busy with last minute shopping and family for the likes of me. There are at least a couple of splendidly silent days where one could write a book, meditate, sort photos or at least organize ones closet. Once you've tried shutting yourself in and eschewing the season, you wont want to go back.

Its been 10 years and going strong since I last allowed myself to be bullied into someone else's holiday. I have weathered abuse and sympathy, but I have managed to almost quit it completely. Now don't get me wrong, I like the company Xmas party as much as the next guy. Free nibbles and sips, gala entertainment and an excuse to wear velvet and sparkly earrings...what bon vivant worth her champagne could resist? But as far back as I can remember, Christmas was always a time of last minute stress, unreasonable expectations, and repercussions of both the financial and emotional variety. Obligations run rampant, family alcoholism is up 110%.

I don't envy parents the task of explaining to the little ones that Santa somehow knows what they did wrong, and will distribute gifts accordingly. Leaving the poor kids to assume that they must have been very naughty indeed to deserve such a deficit, as their friends compare and cruel winter takes hold again.

Yeah, I remember how it used to be when we were kids. Good night Santa.

-30

Carolyn is a 38 year old artist and entrepreneur living in downtown Victoria. Oh yeah, and a heathen, immigrant, bastard.